About a month ago I bought a book by RevRun (think Run DMC and Run's House on MTV)called "Take Back Your Family". Now I have to brag for just a second and let ya'll know that I got to meet The Rev and he signed my book -wooooo! And I really do love this book! He and his wife, Justine, co-wrote this book about mariage and their kids. The first chapter of their book is entitled "Making Your Marriage Work First". And THAT is what I want to focus on today!
Now I know I dont have kids, but I do have a marriage. And I think what The Rev is saying is vital! Basically his chapter states that if we don't put our relationship with our spouse first, and work together as a team you are going to fall apart. He says it MUCH better than that though! Your relationship with your spouse has a profound effect on your kids!
Let me say that again - YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE HAS A PROFOUND EFFECT ON YOUR KIDS! Good or bad, it does. How you talk to each other, treat each other, what you say ABOUT the other, etc. It all effects your kids. Right now I am dealing with my parent's divorce. It is the absolute hardest thing I have ever gone through in my entire life - and I'm an adult!! I don't live with them, or depend on either of them for my house or food. I can't imagine having to go through this as a child and having absolutley no control. My life has been turned upside down, everything I thought I knew has changed, my views on marriage have even changed. I really do thank God everyday that I am already married to Jay or I really don't know that it would be in my future.
My parent's relationship has completely changed my life. And I am old enough to know it's not my fault, and I don't have to listen to fighting, and I don't have to choose who I am going to love, and I don't have to live in 2 different places, or have a "new Mommy" or "new Daddy", or get a new set of siblings, or change schools, or any other number of things that kids have to go through when their parent's relationships fall apart. I also know how to identify my feelings and realize that it is okay to be completely pissed off at my Dad and never want to speak to him agian today, and then spend tomorrow crying because I miss him and want my Dad soooo bad. But kids - they don't know that!
OK, so now that my little rant is over......Put your marriage first, make the effort, take the time to really let your spouse know you love them. Even if you don't like them today! LOL Your kids will benfit from it, and thank you for it one day.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Live Your Legacy
I know I'm a week late for Mother's Day, but I was busy with my MOM, so I'm just now gettin to this! This past year in my life has been a struggle. Lots of change, some has been great, but unfortunately quite a bit was bad. I lost 2 family members and my whole view of my family has been flipped upside down. BUT, God has been extremely faithful! And one way He has been faithful is through my Mom.
My Mom is amazing! I don't know anyone else like her. It has been one of the best experiences in my life to be a "grown up" and have my Mom as a friend now. Yes, she is still my Mom and I respect her, but she has become a great friend. Growing up I always thought I got my sarcasm and a lot of my sense of humor from my Dad, but over the past few years I have realized my sarcasm comes STRAIGHT from my Mom! And I love that! And as hard as this past year has been for me, I know it has been 100 times harder for my Mom.
This Mother's Day was our first one without my MeeMaw, my Mom's Mom. She passed away last October, and I know that my Mom's heart broke that day. My MeeMaw has left an amazing legacy in our family though. She was a woman who loved like no other, she was honest (even if you didn't want to hear it!), and she held you accountable. My MeeMaw was also a prayer warrior, she was always praying, and I know she prayed for me, and everyone else in our family, by name every day. And she taught this to all of her kids and grandkids, and great grandkids. My Mom continues my MeeMaw's legacy. I know she prays for me everyday, probably more than once! I don't know where on earth you could find a Mom better than her - I'm sure a lot of people think that about their Moms, but I'm right! LOL And she is such an example of what a Godly woman should be. Even though I know the past several months have been the hardest months of her life, she always has something encouraging to say to me, and she thinks of others before herself. Her kids and grandkids are her number 1 priority (after God of course!). And I am consistently amazed by her!
Well, I guess I said allll of that to say - live your legacy. Every day make a conscious choice to be proactive in what you are doing and saying. Especially in regards to your family. I know I reference Reggie Joiner and ORANGE a lot, but he has some good stuff to say! One of the essentials he says a family needs is to "Live with the end in mind".
Its hard not to get caught up in the day to day activities of work, school, family time, church, fun time, etc. But make a choice every morning to focus on the end. Look at the bigger picture! Think about where you want to see your kids end up, not just what you want them to do today. Live your legacy! Live your life in a way that your kids, and one day your grandkids will tell people, "Oh my Dad was awesome, he always......" or "My Mom amazes me that she always...".
And remember, go to www.orangeparents.com They say stuff MUCH better than I do!! :)
My Mom is amazing! I don't know anyone else like her. It has been one of the best experiences in my life to be a "grown up" and have my Mom as a friend now. Yes, she is still my Mom and I respect her, but she has become a great friend. Growing up I always thought I got my sarcasm and a lot of my sense of humor from my Dad, but over the past few years I have realized my sarcasm comes STRAIGHT from my Mom! And I love that! And as hard as this past year has been for me, I know it has been 100 times harder for my Mom.
This Mother's Day was our first one without my MeeMaw, my Mom's Mom. She passed away last October, and I know that my Mom's heart broke that day. My MeeMaw has left an amazing legacy in our family though. She was a woman who loved like no other, she was honest (even if you didn't want to hear it!), and she held you accountable. My MeeMaw was also a prayer warrior, she was always praying, and I know she prayed for me, and everyone else in our family, by name every day. And she taught this to all of her kids and grandkids, and great grandkids. My Mom continues my MeeMaw's legacy. I know she prays for me everyday, probably more than once! I don't know where on earth you could find a Mom better than her - I'm sure a lot of people think that about their Moms, but I'm right! LOL And she is such an example of what a Godly woman should be. Even though I know the past several months have been the hardest months of her life, she always has something encouraging to say to me, and she thinks of others before herself. Her kids and grandkids are her number 1 priority (after God of course!). And I am consistently amazed by her!
Well, I guess I said allll of that to say - live your legacy. Every day make a conscious choice to be proactive in what you are doing and saying. Especially in regards to your family. I know I reference Reggie Joiner and ORANGE a lot, but he has some good stuff to say! One of the essentials he says a family needs is to "Live with the end in mind".
Its hard not to get caught up in the day to day activities of work, school, family time, church, fun time, etc. But make a choice every morning to focus on the end. Look at the bigger picture! Think about where you want to see your kids end up, not just what you want them to do today. Live your legacy! Live your life in a way that your kids, and one day your grandkids will tell people, "Oh my Dad was awesome, he always......" or "My Mom amazes me that she always...".
And remember, go to www.orangeparents.com They say stuff MUCH better than I do!! :)
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Orange you glad I didn't say apple?
Every time I hear the word "orange" I think of that dumb knock knock joke that ends with "Orange you glad I didn't say apple". But recently I have a new respect for orange. Thanks to Reggie Joiner (he wrote the book) and Collin Creek Community Church (introduced us to Orange), I now know the significance of ORANGE!
Reggie Joiner is the founder of an organization called ReThink Group. Its a non-profit that helps churches maximize their influence on the spiritual growth of kids, teens, and adults. He has written several books but the one I am focusing on today is Think Orange.
In a nut shell, orange is the impact of family and church, and what can happen when these two forces collide! Family is represented by the color RED - love and warmth. Church is represented by the color YELLOW - the light. Mix em up - and you get orange!
Now, I of course can't give you all the ideas in the book here in a few paragraphs, nor could I explain it anywhere near as well as Reggie does, but I do want to point out a few things, and hopefully give you a desire to read this whole book. Its totally worth it!
Think Orange talks about the essence of a family and what 5 things are essential for your kids. He bases it off of a passage of scripture from Deuteronomy 6:4-12, NIV.
"4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."
There are 5 values that go along with this passage, but I'm only talking about 1 today. Plus - it's not like I can just post his whole book here, right?? :)
WIDEN YOUR CIRCLE.....
Moses was speaking to ALL of Israel in this passage. Not just the parents! Every parent needs help, encouragement, someone to count on, people to partner with. I heard recently that every kid needs 5 trustworthy adults in their life. So, unless you plan on having a few spouses, I think you may need to widen your circle! Kids need to feel supported, valued and loved, not just by their parents but by other adults in their lives too.
I can think of several people who impacted me as a kid/teenager. I was very blessed to have both parents around when I was growing up, as well as both sets of grandparents and a whole slew of aunts and uncles. Not to mention children/youth pastors, Sunday school teachers, youth sponsors and even a few teachers! Now, not all of them left a lasting impact, but I can pick 5 that have had a MAJOR impact on my life. And each of them in a different way. Because let's face it, when I was about 11 - 18, I didn't talk to my parents too much.
Wouldn't it be nice to know that your child has SOMEONE to go to, even if it isn't you?
So, I have a challenge for you!! Think of the people in your life - friends, relatives, coaches, church leaders, etc. and ask yourself who you would like to leave a lasting impact in your child's life besides you. If your kids are old enough, ask them who they look up to. And then INTENTIONALLY make some time for your kids and those people.
There is a WHOLE lot more to "thinking orange" but I don't wanna overwhelm you! ;)
And really, if you want to go deeper in it, read Think Orange by Reggie Joiner!!
A few good resources.....
www.whatisorange.com
www.orangeparents.com - NEW SITE!
Reggie Joiner is the founder of an organization called ReThink Group. Its a non-profit that helps churches maximize their influence on the spiritual growth of kids, teens, and adults. He has written several books but the one I am focusing on today is Think Orange.
In a nut shell, orange is the impact of family and church, and what can happen when these two forces collide! Family is represented by the color RED - love and warmth. Church is represented by the color YELLOW - the light. Mix em up - and you get orange!
Now, I of course can't give you all the ideas in the book here in a few paragraphs, nor could I explain it anywhere near as well as Reggie does, but I do want to point out a few things, and hopefully give you a desire to read this whole book. Its totally worth it!
Think Orange talks about the essence of a family and what 5 things are essential for your kids. He bases it off of a passage of scripture from Deuteronomy 6:4-12, NIV.
"4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."
There are 5 values that go along with this passage, but I'm only talking about 1 today. Plus - it's not like I can just post his whole book here, right?? :)
WIDEN YOUR CIRCLE.....
Moses was speaking to ALL of Israel in this passage. Not just the parents! Every parent needs help, encouragement, someone to count on, people to partner with. I heard recently that every kid needs 5 trustworthy adults in their life. So, unless you plan on having a few spouses, I think you may need to widen your circle! Kids need to feel supported, valued and loved, not just by their parents but by other adults in their lives too.
I can think of several people who impacted me as a kid/teenager. I was very blessed to have both parents around when I was growing up, as well as both sets of grandparents and a whole slew of aunts and uncles. Not to mention children/youth pastors, Sunday school teachers, youth sponsors and even a few teachers! Now, not all of them left a lasting impact, but I can pick 5 that have had a MAJOR impact on my life. And each of them in a different way. Because let's face it, when I was about 11 - 18, I didn't talk to my parents too much.
Wouldn't it be nice to know that your child has SOMEONE to go to, even if it isn't you?
So, I have a challenge for you!! Think of the people in your life - friends, relatives, coaches, church leaders, etc. and ask yourself who you would like to leave a lasting impact in your child's life besides you. If your kids are old enough, ask them who they look up to. And then INTENTIONALLY make some time for your kids and those people.
There is a WHOLE lot more to "thinking orange" but I don't wanna overwhelm you! ;)
And really, if you want to go deeper in it, read Think Orange by Reggie Joiner!!
A few good resources.....
www.whatisorange.com
www.orangeparents.com - NEW SITE!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Jesus didn't have kids either
So, I have been thinking about starting a blog for quite awhile now, and really there is no better time! I want to share some ideas and resources I have on parenting and how parents can partner with the church to help their families!
Now, I'm sure some of you are asking yourself...
1. What the heck do YOU know about parenting, you don't even have kids?
True - I don't! Then again neither did Jesus, and He sure had some good ideas.
DISCLAIMER - I do not think I am Jesus! :)
And, here is what I do know. Parenting is the hardest thing in the world, with a huge risk, and an even bigger reward. Nobody is perfect and nobody should expect us to be.
2. Then what can you offer me?
I can offer you TIME! That is the best gift ever! Because I read...a LOT. And I think its fun to look up resources and find new ideas. So, I will post them here, and you don't have to search! Tada...I just saved you a ton of time.
3. What if I don't really even like this Jesus fellow, and I'm just looking for some good ideas?
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You kept reading past all the spiritual stuff to get to this question! The truth is, you don't have to be a Christian to find these ideas helpful, but I will warn you now....I talk about spiritual stuff! I love God, so its what I do!
So, if you are still reading...THANK YOU! I hope this is helpful. I am really hoping some of the parents from our church (Woooo, shout out to Trinity Wesleyan Church) get involved reading and commenting, because this is where my heart is. I love your kids (so does Jay!) and I want what is best for your family.
Stay tuned, because you are gonna hear about the amazingness of the color ORANGE in the next few days!
Now, I'm sure some of you are asking yourself...
1. What the heck do YOU know about parenting, you don't even have kids?
True - I don't! Then again neither did Jesus, and He sure had some good ideas.
DISCLAIMER - I do not think I am Jesus! :)
And, here is what I do know. Parenting is the hardest thing in the world, with a huge risk, and an even bigger reward. Nobody is perfect and nobody should expect us to be.
2. Then what can you offer me?
I can offer you TIME! That is the best gift ever! Because I read...a LOT. And I think its fun to look up resources and find new ideas. So, I will post them here, and you don't have to search! Tada...I just saved you a ton of time.
3. What if I don't really even like this Jesus fellow, and I'm just looking for some good ideas?
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You kept reading past all the spiritual stuff to get to this question! The truth is, you don't have to be a Christian to find these ideas helpful, but I will warn you now....I talk about spiritual stuff! I love God, so its what I do!
So, if you are still reading...THANK YOU! I hope this is helpful. I am really hoping some of the parents from our church (Woooo, shout out to Trinity Wesleyan Church) get involved reading and commenting, because this is where my heart is. I love your kids (so does Jay!) and I want what is best for your family.
Stay tuned, because you are gonna hear about the amazingness of the color ORANGE in the next few days!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)